There are always problems that must be solved, and the decisions we make when facing problems are the direct result of the state of mind we have going into them. I have found that when working with individuals it is easy to get hung up on the “why”:
· Why did I do that?
· Why did they do that?
· Why didn’t they listen?
· Why didn’t I take their advice?
This kind of thinking rarely brings a solution. In fact, it can be downright counterproductive; it siphons energy and shifts the focus on the past.
True, it is extremely important to learn from the past, but I have found that individuals can overcome problems much more effectively when the attention is focused on the present and future. One of the ways to do this is by focusing on the “hows” and “whats” of the issue:
· What can I learn?
· What would I do differently next time?
· What’s possible now?
· How can I move forward from here?
· How can I apply what I’ve learned?
These questions are better designed to keep minds where they need to be: What is? or What will be?
The only thing the past has to offer us now is a chance to learn from it. The present and the future, on the other hand, have so much more. Therefore, try to not waste time beating yourself up about what has already happened. Shift focus on what is still to come. For many of us, this requires a change in mindset and asking the appropriate questions of ourselves can help create that change.